Why Doesn’t Anybody Understand My Problems?
By leadership author and keynote speaker Ross Shafer
I’m Ross Shafer and I want to thank you for finding the Relevant Leaders Club where each week I post videos to help you grow your business and your career. Today’s message is directed at whiners who want to go from Victim to Victor. Bold huh? Do you feel overlooked? Do you think you are being misjudged? Do have a lot of excuses for why you aren’t successful? Do you believe that nobody understands what you’ve been through in your life? Well hey, it’s time to get over yourself.
Your scars, your upbringing, and your physical or learning disabilities are real, but they are no excuses for low performance. Many people come from single parent homes. Many slow learners have dyslexia, blindness, or hearing loss. Millions of people say they can’t focus because of ADHD while others can’t escape the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A staggering number of people have been sexually abused or beaten by their relatives. Some people complain that they can’t connect with others because they didn’t get enough hugs as children. Others say they were raised by over-protective parents who stunted their emotional growth. Every day, people have had their hearts broken by the betrayal of a best friend or a love interest. Even more were threatened by a bully. Many of you can’t sleep at night because of financial debt. Maybe you have depression because of your genealogy or a trauma. Others of you can’t make close friends because you have abandonment issues. Some of you grew up poor and joined a gang. Some of you grew up rich and spoiled, which you claim makes you irresponsible. Maybe you’ve battled substance abuse. Some of you may still be hiding behind an addiction. Still, others feel constricted by the guilt of an overbearing religion. Millions of men and women have an eating disorder due to a Dysmorphic Syndrome. How much longer do I have to go on before you realize nobody gets through this life unscathed?
If you think life is unfair then I want you to meet my friend, Richard Peterson. Richard Peterson is a savant street musician. He can actually play the trumpet and piano at the same time. My friend Richard collects donations for playing his trumpet outside Seattle Seahawk and Seattle Mariners games. But, don’t pity Richard Peterson just because he plays his music for coins in a bucket. He is not homeless. Richard has stashed several hundred thousand dollars in various bank accounts. To date, he has recorded six full albums of his music. The Stone Temple Pilots licensed one of his songs for their second album. Pretty good for a guy who’s upbringing was sheer horror. Richard was bounced between a half dozen foster homes and kicked out of the fifth grade because the teacher said he was too loud and disruptive. He’s been entirely on his own since he was 12. There were no companies who would hire him so he created his own enterprise. Richard is such an interesting person that he became the subject of a feature film documentary titled, “Big City Dick.”- Richard has so many supportive fans that the movie starred Oscar® winner Jeff Bridges, several radio and TV personalities, and yours truly. By any standard, the under-educated and socially awkward Richard Peterson is a roaring success. Six record albums, a motion picture about his life, no debt, scads of famous friends, and Richard has a steady income whenever he feels like leaving his apartment. In all the time I’ve known Richard Peterson, I have never heard him complain about his background or not being able to accomplish his dreams. He didn’t allow the naysayers to stand in his way. He makes no excuses and he blames no one. So now, back to you. Whatever happened to YOU growing up…or IS happening to you right now… don’t think of it as an obstacle. Stop being the victim and start being the Victor! During your next performance review, don’t expect your Boss to say, “Bobby, your sales are 73% below our goals, but I am going to let it go because I know you didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.” Nobody grew up living a perfect life, but you can take responsibility for making it better from now on. If you see your coworkers jump ahead of you, instead of being jealous or blaming someone, think about what that person had to overcome to get ahead.
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