Do You Have Insecurities? Here’s Why They Might Be Your Secret Weapon
By leadership author and keynote speaker Ross Shafer
Are you insecure about some aspect of your life? Maybe it’s your appearance, your intelligence, or your financial situation. You’re not alone. But more importantly, you’re not doomed by it.
This week, I want to talk openly about insecurities—and more specifically, how to manage them in a way that drives personal growth and leadership success.
Let’s get one thing straight: you may never completely eliminate the fear of not being smart enough, attractive enough, wealthy enough, or talented enough. However, what you can do is manage those feelings and use them to your advantage. And I know this to be true because I’ve met hundreds of highly successful people who still struggle with self-esteem.
I’m fortunate to work as a keynote speaker and consultant with Fortune 500 executives, world leaders, and A-list celebrities. From the outside, they often seem flawless—confident, composed, and totally in control. But behind closed doors, it’s a different story.
Take, for example, a Fortune 100 CEO I met—not naming names, but you’d recognize him immediately. He leaned in and confessed, “I just hope I can retire before anyone figures out how dumb I am about technology.” This man oversees a global company… yet fears being found out as a tech novice.
Actor Alexander Skarsgård once admitted: “Most days, I feel like the ugliest man on the planet.” And Sandra Bullock, one of Hollywood’s most successful actresses, has said, “I’m optimistic, but I’m also terribly afraid and insecure.”
Even inventors and innovators haven’t escaped the trap of self-doubt. Thomas Edison, who brought us the light bulb and motion pictures, was insecure about his intelligence because he only attended school for a total of three months. Abraham Lincoln—often cited as one of the greatest U.S. Presidents—grappled with deep feelings of abandonment after losing his mother at age nine, and he reportedly hated the sound of his own high-pitched voice.
If they felt this way, it stands to reason that all of us might experience similar doubts.
So why do insecurities linger even after we achieve success?
It usually traces back to childhood experiences and limiting beliefs. Maybe someone told you that you weren’t good enough, smart enough, or talented enough—and a part of you still believes them. We carry those memories and criticisms like emotional luggage, even when we know they don’t serve us.
As author Brené Brown says in her groundbreaking talk on vulnerability, “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”
Here’s the upside: insecurity isn’t just normal—it can be incredibly productive. Insecurity is often the spark that drives us to become stronger, more skilled, and more resilient. It pushes us to overprepare, to outperform, and to outgrow our doubts.
The trick is to acknowledge your insecurities without letting them define you. Let them serve as your personal homework—your roadmap for improvement.
If you’ve ever felt insecure before stepping onto a stage, starting a new job, or speaking up in a meeting, take heart. Those feelings don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you’re growing.
Hire Ross Shafer to Speak at Your Next Event
If this message resonated with you—or if you want your team or audience to understand how self-awareness, vulnerability, and humor can lead to better leadership—book Ross Shafer for your next event. Ross brings unmatched experience as an Emmy-winning TV host, a bestselling author of nine business books, and a trusted advisor to some of the most influential companies in the world.