What’s the Difference Between Stress & Fear?
By leadership author and keynote speaker Ross Shafer
Is fear threatening to derail your career? I’ll show you how to overcome your fear. Hi I’m Ross Shafer and I want to thank you for finding the Relevant Leaders Club where each week I post a new video to help you grow your career or your business.
Today I want to talk about fear; the kind of fear that threatens to shut down your business or your career. I’ve talked to you about my being a serial entrepreneur and how some of my ventures failed miserably while others turned out to be very successful. My friends tell me I’m a guy who is fearless about making decisions. That may be what it looks like but I have a system for squashing fear and I’ll describe how you can make that system work for you too! I‘ve spent a lot of time talking about fear with successful leaders in every kind of industry. And the funny thing is, successful people never use the word FEAR. They call it STRESS. If you ask them about a difficult decision, they will say, “Well, I’m a little stressed about it” or “I’m in STRESS-mode, right now.” But they never say “I’m, scared.” They never say, “I’m afraid.” And it’s not a turn of phrase to save their ego. It’s about taking control of their emotions.
Successful people wouldn’t dare give any value to the emotion of FEAR because they refuse to let FEAR stop them from moving forward…from taking action. Naturally, they have experienced fear – they may have a nagging gut feeling, but they weigh the pros and cons of every decision, they do their due diligence and they know their limitations. The difference is strong leaders are driven by the facts and are willing to accept the tension of the decision and the outcome – That’s the appropriate reaction to stress. Fear on the other hand, causes some people to freeze up. It encourages NO ACTION. Fear can convince your brain to be overly cautious. Fear can fool you into obsessing about imaginary risks. The greatest danger is that fear starts dictating how you live your life. So, let’s start with the obvious question: What role is fear playing in your life? Does fear paralyze you? Does fear make you angry? Does your fear frustrate those around you? Does fear remind you of making poor choices in the past?
My mother is in her 80’s but she loves to play golf every week. She was telling me about how her club got to take lessons from LPGA Legend Nancy Lopez. Some of the women in my mom’s group were too intimidated to even take a shot around Nancy. One woman reluctantly hit off the 1st tee but shanked it right into the trees. My mom’s friend was mortified. But Nancy told her, “That shot is gone and you’ll never get it back. So, re-set yourself and let’s start the next hole with a fresh perspective – and a new score. If you are letting fear control you because you’re still gun-shy from a previous bad choice, that decision is never coming back. If you are fearful because you think you are over your head, go back to the fact. The best leaders shake off a bad decisions, reset themselves and start fresh. Don’t allow fear to kill your business or your career. Stop thinking in terms of fear and call your trepidation STRESS – and deal with the stress.
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